Twenty-six

One more year older, and I do not think I have much to say about it. Birthdays tend to make you think over the year behind and the year ahead. However, I think I have done that a lot lately anyway. Aside from the fact that birthdays just are not a crazy deal anyway. Having been born three days after Christmas, making a big deal about your birthday can be difficult. Despite my mother's best efforts growing up, the holidays seem to take over.

This is not to say I am in anyway shafted or jaded. Just realistic. And I have come to enjoy times like last night where I spend the better part of the day with my family. Friends tend to say we will celebrate early or late, but I do not always hold my breath for that since we often have to dive head first into other obligations. Again, that is okay with me.

Facebook has actually added an interesting level to birthdays. To hear from those I know I would not otherwise...it's nice I suppose. Some, like my students, mean well because that is how they communicate. Some are people I have just not had contact with and the message is a nice reminder to catch up with them. Others, like closer friends, feel like they should and it just supplements phone calls and texts that I love. Yet, a few, are those that you wonder why you friended in the first place because you wonder at what point were you actually friends? But thank you, Facebook, for reminding everyone on their homepage that it is my birthday.

No, really, thanks, because I know (and many of my friends know) I am not that great at remembering these things myself. So I appreciate the little nudge myself.

Of course it is almost the new year as well, which also causes us to be reflective. But I think I will save that for later. For now, I will go back to what I always say: everything happens for a reason. I have much to look forward to as a twenty-six-year-old. Thank you to everyone for the well wishes and to those who have really been around lately. I could not survive without you!

I'm Waitin on the Couch, but I Don't Know What I'm Waitin For

I think, perhaps, on occasion, I think too much about others and not enough about myself. And I think, because of this, maybe I do not know how to really think about myself. I do not mean this in a "look at me I'm so altruistic" kind of way. I mean this more that I think much of my internal dissonance comes from a lack of being able to know what it is I am really looking to find.

Introspection is something I consider a strong suit. I tend to find an understanding of my feelings, the different sides of things, deeper meanings (and then talk about it in a blog...ha). But somewhere outside of that, I get too wrapped up in other people. I have a general idea of what I want in life, at least I think, and I try to surround myself with people who are heading that same direction. I hope to find others who add something to my life and who I am.

However, I wonder if those relationships become so important to me that I let them overcome me. Most of the time, this is not a bad thing, do not get me wrong. Relationships are very important to me not only in my personal life but professionally as well. Most of the theory I let drive what I do is relationship centered. I can trace my life by the relationships in it. But at what point do I stop and really think about what I am looking for? Right now, I am not really sure.

I think most of the time it is okay to not know. Just occasionally, I find myself wondering. But I digress.

The title of this post is a lyric from "Frozen Bed" by Sonia Leigh. She rocks.

An Introvert on the Road

Yes, I am a high introvert. Shocking. I know. But because of this, I tend to really enjoy driving. I think I have mentioned this in previous posts, but long trips in the car alone give me time to think...or not think at all. So yesterday I had plenty of time while I made the drive home for the holidays. I actually even had some extra time since the weather was consistently pretty gross with the same gray rain across all three states.

My thoughts on yesterday's trip tended to wrap around three general themes. The first was improvements. More specifically, improvements I need to make to my Jeep. My Jeep has lots of "character," as most would call it, when they are trying to be nice. Others would simply say it looks pretty rough. It drives really well to be 15 years old. It just needs a make-over. The paint is pretty bad and the headliner has fallen. A new door handle is needed on one door and a new armrest is needed on another. I guess having never put much stock into defining my status through having a cool looking car, I never worried too much about it. However, it would definitely do some good to spruce it up. Now it is finding the places and the money to get it done.

The second theme was obviously the holidays. I did not come home for Thanksgiving, and so I am looking to make up for that while I am home for Christmas. I thought about things I would cook (I think I will be making peanut butter fudge to take to my grandmother's), people I will visit (family, friends, a trip to Columbia), and just what I will do with almost two weeks at home. Of course we started the tradition off last night by going to my mom's company annual Christmas party. We always go as a whole family and have fun playing silly games, leaving with silly gifts, and eating lots of food. Although this year, the most I think I left with was being judged by an elderly Taiwanese man about being single. Oh, and playing with fish eyeballs. Ha.

The third was just life in general. Reflecting over the last year. Thinking about some possible big changes on the horizon. Without putting too much out over the Internet, I have just had lots to think about lately, and the drive is usually a good place to either sort them out, reflect, or sometimes agonize over them. Decisions to make, things I should say to others that I don't, possibilities, how things could have happened, etc. And then I think, I should blog!

Also to note, this was the first time I have taken my cat, Dixie, on an extended car ride. She has never been to keen on being in the car, although it has only ever been to go to and from the vet and home from the shelter. So who can blame her? But yesterday she made the trip with me and did really well. She freaked for a little while, but found a spot that suited her underneath the back seats that I had laid down. Occasionally she would pop up for some attention, but I think she like it under there where she was warm and could not see the world flying by. The only downside was I could not belt out the tunes I normally do while I am on the road because she would start to meow, which I took to mean stop. Perhaps that is why I had even more time to think. I could not drown it out with music as much as I normally do.

I hope to have more to write while I am home and have more time to do it. Also, shoutout and thanks to Adam for the road trip mix. It made for good listening.

You Can't Always Get What You Want

I find the way life can drop something right in front of you sometimes funny. If we are lucky, we realize what is staring us in the face and take advantage of it. However, we often realize just the moment too late. Or perhaps we think we see the opportunity, but it was not the one we thought it was. Or, you know, maybe sometimes it can be all three. Just a random thought for the night. Discuss.

Women's Leadership Institute Day 4

This morning the institute came to an end. We wrapped up with a keynote speaker, Frances Lucas, President of Millsaps College. Her session's title: "The Power of Pearls and Perfume." The title should have given it away. She was witty and completely engaging. She spoke mostly about what is has meant, does mean, and will mean to be a woman in leadership. It was a perfect way to wrap up the experience. She gave numerous personal examples of her journey as a woman leader, and spent a good amount of time humoring our questions as well. One of the best take aways? Her "Ten Commandments for Successful Leadership:"

1. Thou shall first ask questions and listen.
2. Thou shall know what thou are going to say before thou open thou mouth.
3. Thou shall make clear thou intent and purpose.
4. Thou shall test messages on a few before many.
5. Thou shall give attention and not seek attention.
6. Thou shall maximize rewards and minimize whips.
7. Thou shall find humor wherever you can.
8. Thou shall offer optimism and hope
9. Thou shall be encouraging.
10. Thou shall forgive...repeatedly.

She had a number of amazing nuggets of wisdom. My other favorite was her three questions you should ask yourself to find your path: What are your gifts? What to you love? What needs to be done? As a Venn diagram, the intersection of the three is where you will find where to go. I also found some comfort when she said that the majority of university and college presidents are actually introverts. :-)

After the speaker, we had a brunch as we all prepared to depart. I found it amazing to be around these women with whom I know have an amazing connection. I even was able to share some of my young wisdom by talking to a few of them about blogging...ha. Just knowing what I have been able to get out of this experience, I can only imagine what it has meant on the grander level of everyone there. On my three hour drive back to the "real world," I was able to think about the handful of people I truly got to know and the pearls of wisdom I was able to take with me.

Women can be amazing, and they can be even more so when they empower each other. I knew that coming out of an all-women's undergraduate education, but I was happily reminded of it over the past four days. However, it is not about women doing it alone. It is that we all have something to bring to the table. We just need to know what that is and how to better each other through it. Success takes everyone of all genders, backgrounds, races, and so on to make the world go 'round. Maybe it sounds cliche, but a friendly reminder never hurts.

In case any of them find this entry down the road, THANK YOU! And special shout outs to the one who listened so well to my issues while she shared hers, the one who truly wanted to learn more about technology and thought she could learn it from me, the one who made for amazing conversation on the shuttle back from dinner, the one who is thinking of her son who is currently one of many that are being rushed deployed from Camp Lejune, and to all who took a minute to say hello, smile, chat, and were just all around awesome.

Women's Leadership Institute Day 3

Yea, I did not make it to the early morning activities again today, but I will say that it is okay. :-)

My first session today was about navigating tough conversations. I figure as someone who like to generally avoid conflict, this would be a good skill to learn. The presenter based her information mostly off of a book about "fierce" conversations. Overall, the session was interesting. She provided road maps and ways to plan conversations before you have them. My only critique would be many of the tips would work much better in a structured business world more so than higher education. Nonetheless, I took away something.

The second session was presented by the executive director of ACUI (Association of College Unions International), who is a hoot! Her presentation was on men and women at work. Really, it ended up being more about understanding how to communicate and listen. She kept calling it the "fluff" session of the institute, but I enjoyed it because it was the most interaction I got out of a session. Nothing she presented about men and women was anything new or shocking, but she did it in a way that put somethings in a new light.

Today's closing plenary session was all about the economy and not only what it means for higher education, but what we can do about it. I was not really sure what to expect with this one since I consider myself just in the beginning of being an "adult" and even knowing about this topic. However, it was an interesting conversation. The idea is that we take this as an opportunity instead of keeping our heads down and waiting for this all to pass. Also, we have to realize that once we return to normal, it will be a new normal, and we have to think about what that will mean.

Tomorrow is the last day, and it really will only be a closing keynote. My goal then is to reflect back on this experience as a whole, when I am not so sleepy, and really think about what I am taking away from this experience. Today I have to say I have appreciated how diverse these women are in background and current position. This institute is currently sponsored by eight different professional associations, meaning this is not just Student Affairs. Pretty neat.

Sidenote: Spas, aromatherapy, and hour long massages are wonderful inventions!

Women's Leadership Institute Day 2

Today was the beginning of our educational sessions. I skipped out on the early morning activities (walking on the beach or journaling) because the bed seemed much nicer. But I was down for breakfast and ready to go for the day when I needed to be.

The first session I went to was about how to be "hip and sage" and how to network. I went knowing that I am not always the best about getting out there but knowing the value of networking. The presenter was pretty amazing, and it was a great way to start my day. Much of the session about now to navigate not only face-to-face networking but also networking through social media. Although this part was interesting because I definitely could feel how young I was when the conversation included points on meeting the younger generations where they are technologically, and all I could think was...yea...that would include me. Nevertheless, she had me very excited because she was so excited about the possibilities social media brings. All in all I took much from this session. You have to know what you bring to the table to get something out of a networking opportunity. It's not what you know and who you know, but who knows you.

My second session has about the life-work balance. I figured I need to start good habits now, right? I do not think I can say I took as much away from this session, but it was still valuable. Most of it was nothing revolutionary, but it was good to think about how we personally see balance, what that means, how that changes, and what we can do to get it. Most importantly, we worked on how to say "no," something a number of us have trouble doing.

The last session of the day was a plenary session where we all learned more about StrengthsQuest, which we all took prior to coming. Mine? Empathy, achiever, adaptability, learner, and intellection. I was not sure I would be that excited about this since I recently did it with the Student Activities staff at our retreat. However, we had a presenter from Gallup, the company that hosts StrengthsQuest, and she was very engaging. If you have never done it, I highly recommend it.

We also ate lots of food today, and I have really enjoyed the built in time to get to know the other participants. I mentioned before that I was likely the youngest person here, and that has certainly been proven today. I think that made me nervous because I was afraid I would not be able to contribute anything, but I have found it empowering to get to know a number of these women. Despite the lack of experience, I still have been able to gain much in the last day and a half. I cannot wait until tomorrow!

Sidenote: There is nothing like the sound of the ocean.

Women's Leadership Institute Day 1

I have to be extremely grateful for the support of professional development at Florida State. Because of that and the support of our Union Director, I am currently sitting at the 4th annual Women's Leadership Institute, sponsored by ACUI and seven other associations. It is being held at Amelia Island, FL at the Ritz-Carlton Resort. (Yea...the Ritz...the one and only time I will probably ever be here...ha.)

Today was the opening of the institute. We had a nice reception and an opening speaker, Katty Kay who co-authored the book Womenomics. A study in how women are changing the workforce. I have to say I was pleasantly surprised to hear some revolutionary thoughts and some encouraging statistics. Turns out, women actually make business not only run better but become more profitable. "Pink Profits." Go figure, right? It is also about re-framing how we see our careers. Knowing what we want, not being afraid to ask, and learning to say no when needed. Hearing what she and her co-author found in their research was enlightening. Oh, and she gave all of us a signed copy of the book. Sweet.

I must admit the major introvert in me was initially overwhelmed, and I still sort of am. We have 95 women attending this institute, and I do not know any of them. I had to make myself get out and meet people at the reception, which for anyone who knows me knows that is not the easiest thing for me to do. I am also one of the youngest, if not the youngest, person here. Although I think that is going to make me get much more out of this. The women here are from all across the board in background and current positions. I think I will find it extremely interesting to hear from them over the next couple of days, and I hope this will help me grow in the networking aspects of my career.

My goal is to blog each night in order to help me process. I was inspired by the fact that the planners of this incorporated "wellness time" into our schedules to make sure we are doing things for ourselves while we are here. I hope to have much to report. :-)

Typing Therapy

Hello blogging world. I've missed you. And I think I blame part of my recent inner turmoil on not visiting you in a while. Two months since my last post. While much has stayed the same, much has happened. Many details won't make it here, but I need to get back to the catharsis blogging can give me.

Professionally, I am now well into my second year, which presents new comforts and new challenges. I finally feel like I have found a place in my position. Making changes, setting goals, moving forward. Yet I also find the growing pains. Some pent-up frustrations and fears of looking to the future. October especially seemed to be a rough month. The major positive is I have some great mentors and support that I hope will help carry me through. I also know my convictions to continue doing the best I can.

Personally, the balance of good and bad is similar. Perhaps the most interesting, and certainly most recent detail is my decision to not go home for Thanksgiving for the first time ever. While I am sad I will not be home, telling people about my decision reminded me of what awesome people I have in my life. My family, for the most part, is more than supportive, and my friends of course have more than reached out to me to make sure I am okay for the holiday. For the record, things are good, and I look forward to a two week visit home for Christmas.

I have also had the chance to catch up with some people this week, which has certainly helped. Some I had not seen in months, one I had not seen in years. Coming back together over career changes, music, and just life in general, I realize how lucky I am to have them all.

So I feel like I am in something of a funk right now, but I am looking to see the positives around me. I must also remind myself that if I did not adapt I would not be where I am. Everything happens for a reason. Every moment is a moment to learn. Personal struggles make us who we are.

Sidenote: Thanks to Allison, a mentor and coworker, for reintroducing me to Barbara Kingsolver. Great author.

New Professionals Institute: Professional Congruence

An initiative of our Division of Student Affairs is to help develop new professionals in the field. Because of this, the DSA developed a series called the New Professionals Institute. After applying to participate, around 40 of us have embarked on a year long professional development opportunity. Once a month, we meet to discuss a certain topic led by our more experienced colleagues. We talk in a large group, but we are also broken down into smaller discussion groups. Six sessions spread throughout the academic year, it is almost like a mini graduate course...even with it's own Blackboard page.

Today, aside from the orientation meeting, was our first session, and the topic was professional congruence. Who are you, what do you believe, what do you want to accomplish, and how does that align or not align with your university and you division? An appropriate first topic. We focused actually on a chapter from a NASPA monograph that I used in a presentation I did last year at ACPA with some other amazing new Student Affairs professionals.

Thinking about our own missions and comparing them with where we work seems like a basic thing to do, especially when we were searching for jobs in the first place. Yet today's discussion really made me start thinking about why I did come to FSU and why I took a job in Student Activities. I think I have to admit neither of these decisions were intentional. Actually, I cannot say I ever thought I would be doing Student Activities, and I really was looking for a new place to move. FSU and the Student Activities Center just seemed to make sense at the time.

Maybe that is or was enough. But what is my purpose? What do I really want to accomplish as a professional? Getting wrapped up in the job and not taking time to evaluate why you are doing what you are doing can be easy to let happen. I think I have some reflecting to do.

By no means am I unhappy with where I am right now. I know that I want to help students, and funny enough, the students I advise actually reminded me of how much I love working with them during our meeting tonight. However, I think I do need to take a step back to do some thinking...

Sidenote: For all my Student Affairs friends who read this, here is an interesting new website we were told about today during our session. It is called "Student Affairs OMG." Ethical issues anyone?

Beware of Seabears

This past weekend I went to St. George Island (which is quickly becoming one of my favorite places to go) with a group of friends. I did not get the chance to take a real vacation over the summer. So I used this weekend to pretend and take a mini-vacation in the midst of a crazy beginning to fall semester. As expected, the weekend was pretty crazy. More than expected, the weekend was a great time. Unfortunately I did not take many pictures...actually, that is probably for the best.

Despite the little bit of flooded driveway/carport when we arrived, the house was awesome. The weather was nice for most of the weekend, with the exception of some sprinkles on Saturday afternoon. Although college football made that a little more bearable. It was great to relax, unwind, goof around, and get some more sunshine in my life. And super kudos to Meredith for coordinating the whole thing...getting us off our butts after talking about making a trip like this for a long time.

The best part was spending the weekend with some pretty great people. The trip made me realize even more how much they have been part of my experience here in Tallahassee. Honestly, I have some days I do not know how I would survive without them. Most of the time, we surround ourselves in just pure ridiculousness (hence the title of this blog), but most of the time, that is what I need. Thanks guys. Now can we hurry up and do this again?

Sometimes Webcomics Say it Best

Here's a fun comic from xkcd.com that well accompanies some of my previous posts about parking pet peeves:

The Spice of Life

Yesterday, Meredith and I went on a random road trip. Actually, it was more of Mer calling me to say she was in the mood to take a trip in her Jeep and I happily accompanied her. So, at 10:30 am, she picked me up and we just went. We had something of a plan, knowing that she wanted to take a route towards Lake Seminole. However, we did not really have a plan. We just went.

Our day trip turned into about seven hours of randomness. We covered three states: Florida, Alabama, and Georgia. We explored a random dirt road. We saw ridiculous billboards touting that abstinence education is the way to save our teenagers. We stopped to read historical markers. Around 1:30 we decided to find a roadside adventure for lunch. Our first attempt was when we both caught a sign for "The Crazy Bear."

How could we not stop there? Well, it was closed. Sad day. So we turned around and continued our trip. As we left, we saw a handmade wooden sign for the "Big Bad Wolf Saloon." Thus began attempt number two for lunch. So in Ft. Gaines, GA, we found the place to stop.

Not only did we find a place to eat, but we found a fabulous place to eat. The first sign of a good decision was number of motorcycles sitting outside. You know you have found a good place when (dot dot dot) and we did. Hands down, one of, if not the best burgers I have had since I moved. Completely a locals kind of restaurant/bar and owned by such nice people. Delicious.

After lunch, we started to head back toward Florida. We stopped at a gas station along the way and decided to grab some ice cream. Hint: do not try to eat an ice cream bar in August while driving a Jeep with the top down. After the ice cream, we stopped at some cute antique shops in downtown Havana. Then we headed home.

The morals of the story: do not waste a beautiful day inside, and you do not always need a plan. The weather was so gorgeous, and the trip was much needed therapy. Even on semi-planned trips, Mer and I are starting to be known for our random sidetracks (like the smallest church in America we found on our way to Columbia...or our history lessons on our way back from Jacksonville). But really, what could make a trip better?

Actually, you do not even have to leave town. Even today, Meredith, Kinsley, and I just made random trips around town that provided some pretty good entertainment. Plus, Meredith and I found an event downtown for the evening. Although, this event just made us realize 1) most local bands should not cover classics 2) people watching always makes good conversation and 3) Tallahassee has nothing on South Carolina when it comes to cheering for your team in a true traditional style. Sorry friends, but it is true.

Oh, and we never really saw Lake Seminole. Not that we needed to.

The Picture of Education

I was asked to speak to a group of student leaders at our College of Medicine tonight. Although I was originally afraid of showing up late due to other commitments, I actually ended up where I was supposed to be fifteen minutes early. The CoM is located right on the edge of campus, and is not a direction I tend to go unless I have a specific purpose. (The same can be said of course for these students who live in this glorious new building bubble.)

As I was standing in the classroom in which the dinner was being held, I was looking around (the higher education person that I am) and making note of the set up of the room. Six rows of tables, theater style, with cute swivel chairs attached and two plugs placed in between every other seat so each studious student can hook up the trusty laptop. It was a smaller room, but clearly intended for use by students such as those in the CoM.

Taking in the set up of this room, I imagined the students lined up with their sleek notebooks ready to dive into class. This made me think about the number of different visions we can have when we think of what it means to be in college. The image of the hard core academe like I pictured today. The image of the flow of free thought and discussion in an environment more like I experienced in the liberal arts. The over involved achievers that are presidents and honors society members. The fun lovers playing Frisbee on the green. All finding some place not only here but in the world.

Not to say that all these images cannot overlap. Many times they do. But my thought was I find it interesting that when we talk about higher education, we talk about this large nebulous thing and stereotype it into this blob of experience. Yet clearly no one's experience in higher education is the same. I do not think I really have some philosophical point to make here, but I found it an interesting thought to picture all the different images higher education can imply.

What an interesting world in which to work.

Sidenote: Fall semester is so here. Woot.

They All Come Back Around Again

Today was they first day of fall classes. Officially my round two at FSU. This has flown by. I know I have already spent one post reflecting on my first year here. Now as fall has smacked us in the face, I am looking at what I hope to accomplish this year. I feel like so much stands before me now, and I almost feel like now I am really kicking in as a professional. Although part of me is still scared to death that I am an "adult."

I was torn seeing all the students back today. The better part of me was excited, of course. This is why we do what we do. The other part of me, though, wondered where in the world my summer went, and why did I not take a real vacation? Tomorrow I head back into the world of student organization recognition, crazy meetings, and random commitments (i.e. I was asked to speak at a dinner for student leaders at the med school. Random.). The wonderful whirlwind begins.

So now I am looking forward to not only programmatic changes like our recognition process, and new responsibilities like our heading our campus-wide Halloween event, but also new ways to develop my SOAR Board students that I advise and working with a new graduate assistant. Another major plus for this year is we are finally at full staff, and after our recent retreat, I am excited for how we will work together this year.

The only unfortunate note is the rough start I have already had to the semester. From poison sumac contracted from doing volunteer work, to severe tonsillitis that kept me from the majority of our Seminole Sensation Week, to now another case of shingles which I had successfully not had in quite some time...perhaps another indication I should have taken that vacation. Oh well. As I am on the upside of healing, here is to the great and crazy things this year holds in store.

Sidenote: I love LEGO Star Wars.

We Wake Up Together Alone

I find it interesting that we as human beings struggle to find deep connections with others. We put forth effort to find relationships to enhance our lives. If we are lucky enough, we find a handful of people that truly fit the role (or at least we think so). Family, friends, "significant others." What sucks is when those same relationships end up being the ones that hurt us most.

For this scenario, imagine boy meets girl. They get along, everything seems right. Then, maybe one of them falters, maybe not, but something happens that the relationship as it was ends. Both of them seem to try to hold on to something that still fills a part of their lives. Maybe one is holding on more than the other. Sometimes holding on works, but when it doesn't, it really doesn't. If they are lucky enough, they move forward with a different take on the relationship. If not, one or the other or both are left with something that just hurts.

I think I have written before about learning to try and let go of things that maybe we should not hold on to. But how do we figure that out? What part of us tries to hold on so hard that we just force ourselves into a worse place? When does holding on become toxic?

I have always been the one to want to make things right for people, and seeing this struggle is difficult. This is partially because I can both empathize and sympathize I suppose. A side but related note is this past weekend I learned that empathy was my number one strength in StrengthsQuest. It made me laugh how much that was true. But because of this, maybe I struggle more with the issue at hand. Maybe I will have more thoughts later...

Disclaimer: This post is not just about one person but more a combination of observations and experiences. Just a chance to get out some thoughts on the subject. ^_^

Wedding #2 and a Visit Home

Two weddings in two weeks can be a little overwhelming, but as I am about to head back to Tallahassee, I am sitting here thinking over these past couple of days glad that I have had the chance to do this. It has been a few days of remembering some pretty awesome times.

As soon as I made it to town on Thursday, I went for a "Girls' Afternoon" with my mom, sister, stepsister, and cousin. We went to see the tearjerker "My Sister's Keeper," and then went out for some Cuban food. (Yea, I left Florida to eat Cuban food...oh the irony...ha.) This is something we so rarely get to do that it was so nice to spend some time with these awesome women. Moving away from home has definitely made me cherish these little moments a little more. I hope this is something we will get to do again soon...minus the depressing movie of course.

Yesterday was my friend Ronnie's wedding. For the first time in a very long time, I was able to be with friends who made Rock Hill memorable. It was crazy to think back on times that seem so long ago but seem like just yesterday. Beach trips, giggle fests, just hanging out. Interesting to think about how far we have all come. At times, it was like nothing had ever changed. Congratulations to Ronnie and Jessica, and thank you for a chance to bring us all back together.

Today, I went over to my Nanny's (a.k.a. Granny Bill) for dinner. While sitting around the dinner table enjoying Saturday Night Soup (a family favorite), my two cousins, my sister, and I spent the better part of the evening remembering the crazy things the four of us used to do together when we were younger. Making up dance routines to "Rhythm Nation," roller skating routines, tricycle competitions, games of spoons, and singing Wilson Phillips...at least these were the appropriate memories to talk about at the dinner table. Then came the obligatory stories of me refusing to play softball, my infamous first word, and my sister's obsession with butter. And of course I always treasure getting to spend time with Nanny and Paw Paw because you will never meet two better people. We were also reminded that we definitely get our brutal honesty and attitude from Nanny Bill.

Other highlights of the weekend include going to see my sister at work at Earth Fare, learning about new cheeses and getting to buy Fat Tire for the first time in SC. I was able to get some needed work done on my Jeep and run some errands. Today I was able to chill and have homemade breakfast. Oh, and watch another sad movie, "The Boy in the Striped Pajamas." Seriously, my mom is on probation from choosing movies for a while.

I enjoyed my time home, but it's back to Tally in the morning. So much waiting for me in preparation for that fall semester...really, who made summer so short?

Sidenote: Poison sumac is not fun. How is this what I get for doing volunteer work? Ha.

Keeping Up With Old Friends

This past Saturday I was able to attend my friend Liz's wedding. I have been friends with Liz since high school, and we have been through a lot since then, to say the least. From surviving the IB program, to infiltrating pageants, to first (and second) tattoos, to plate parties at the Saucer...we have shared some pretty good moments. So of course I was so excited to get the invitation in the mail to share such important moment with her.

I do have to admit I was a little nervous because I knew I would go without knowing anyone there besides her family, but it turned out to be an intimate affair and I was really able to catch up with them. I also have to give Liz a number of kudos for the event. The ceremony was sweet and to the point. It opened with the sounds of a string quartet that sounded so lovely covering groups like Enya and Nine Inch Nails. (NIN's "Closer" to be specific...sweet.) This was all followed with wine, food and dancing, of course. She was absolutely gorgeous, and it was so great to see her. I only wish her and Chris the best on this new chapter in their lives.

I think I have to consider myself lucky to still have such good friends around. We may not always stay in touch as much as we should, but we have been there for each other. Plus, for once, it was not completely dreadful to sit through a wedding. I can only hope the one I have to go to in two weeks is just as good. -_^

Sidenote: I LOVE Moss Ave for a number of reasons. However, I have added a new one to this list. You have to love a house that you not only still have a key to after over a year of moving out, but that you can also go back to because you are pretty sure you still have stuff there...and you do. Plus, the people who live there now know you have a key and just tell you to show up whenever. Ha. I do not know what I will do when I do not know the people living there any more...

Nole Anniversary

Today was my official one year mark working at FSU. Crazy. Of course, this makes me think back over the past year. I find it hard to believe that a year ago I had just graduated with my master's degree, job searched, and moved alone to a brand new state. Now I have a year of professional experience (whatever that means in the world of Student Affairs...ha) and feel like I have found something of a niche here in Tally.

Professionally, it sets in even more because yesterday was my new grad assistant's first day. Last year I was relying on Chris to teach me about FSU, now here I am teaching Selby. Definitely a new adventure. I also think about all the connections I actually have across campus. Part of that revelation came with organizing my team to implement our new online student organization system. I actually have colleagues and friends on which to call.

Personally, I have some pretty great people to hang out with around here. I went out on a limb not long after starting here and went kayaking with a bunch of people I really did not know, save for one person. (Thanks Julia!) And I find it funny to think about how I have become pretty close with some people because of that. Plus, for various reasons, I have made some other pretty good friends. Of course, some would say I have fallen into one of the new professional traps in that the people I hang out with also all work at FSU. However, it seems to work. Plus, we try (although not always successfully) to not talk work all the time.

So here is to another year. I feel as though I have lots to come.

The More Things Change

Random thought for the day: I love that no matter how much things change in our lives, it seems we can count on some things to stay the same. For example, it can be amazingly easy to fall back into conversations with friends you haven't seen in a while...and back into old habits (read: the ability to judge everyone around you). They say change is the only constant. True. But I am glad to know that I can count on some people to be constant as well.

Sidenote: Thanks to Mer for a long weekend of crazy adventures. Truly, no one should go on a road trip with us...

More New Places

This is a huge shout out to some pretty awesome people for helping me move yesterday: THANK YOU Meredith, Adam, Mike, Aaron, and Billy (yes, even though you weren't in town, Dixie thanks you -_^)!! We were power movers yesterday...out of one apartment and into another in four hours. Sweet. And it was all done in lovely Florida weather. Seriously guys, thanks.

I am very glad to be out of the ridiculousness that is Blairstone. The new place is pretty cute. I am literally up the street from Meredith and Kinsley...and James and Jill. The neighborhood is nice, and the neighbors are pretty cool so far, too. It is one of four apartments in the building and is two beds, one bath. The second room will likely be a combination of an office and Dixie's room. Thankfully, it is also on the first floor. Plus I finally have recycling again! Maybe I will get some pictures up soon. The goal now is that I will not move again until I am leaving Tallahassee. Moving my stuff every year gets pretty old.

Now the fun part is unpacking so I can get to the real fun part of decorating. I guess blogging and staring at the boxes is not getting me very far...

Depp + Burton = Magic

As most people know, my celebrity crush is without a doubt Johnny Depp. Delicious. As an actor who tended to shy away from the more normal and popular roles (until the Pirates series, in which he is still pretty odd), he is always so intriguing to watch. Even in interviews, he has this down-to-earth sense about him that is really endearing. Of course, I am excited about his newest movie, "Public Enemies," coming out July 1.

However, I learned this morning that he is partnering with Tim Burton yet again to bring a twisted twist to another classic: "Alice in Wonderland." I saw the article from USA Today posted this morning by a friend on facebook, and I was immediately excited. Depp will play the Mad Hatter, and he will be partnering again with Helena Bonham Carter as the Queen of Hearts and Christopher Lee as the Jabberwock. The movie will also bring in Anne Hathoway as the White Queen, and a new star, Mia Wasikowska as Alice. Burton, somewhat like he did with "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" will put a new spin on the story by showing a tale of Alice returning to Wonderland 10 years after her first visit.

Along with "Peter Pan," "Alice in Wonderland" is one of my favorite stories. I love the idea of a world where nothing makes sense, but it is still somewhere you would love to visit. An escape from all things real with a girl who refuses to be tied down by the natural world. Magical and sometimes scary...and who does not love the Cheshire Cat? I cannot wait until March 2010 to see how cool and off the wall this film will be.

30 Day Challenges - Check!

First, I finished the blog challenge (yea, we still never came up with a 'winner'). Now, I have completed the 30 Day Challenge on EA Active. Woot! I actually finished it in less than 30 days because it is really 20 days worth of workouts with some built in rest days every couple of days, but you can choose to workout instead of rest. I am proud of myself for finishing, and it has actually been pretty fun despite the fact that it often kicks my butt. I still have not really lost any weight, but it feels good to be doing something.

Once I finally decide on a place to live, I hope to get even more active by riding my bike much more than I do now. (Which should not be a hard goal since I have really only ridden it a handful of times since I bought it...ha.) I am still trying to make better decisions in what I eat and drink, although this week has been hard since my GA ,Chris, and another GA, Abbie, had their last days in the office yesterday. This has meant lunches, and yesterday a delicious cake.

So now I just have to keep this up! I think for the next week, I am just going to do some preset workouts, and when I finally move, I will start a new 30 Challenge. Here's to health!

Size Matters (for TV Ratings)??

I have already gone on one rant about body image on television, but they just keep giving me fuel to burn. Tonight, while watching the "So You Think You Can Dance" results for the week, I saw a commercial for a new show on Fox: "More to Love." Teaming up with the executive-producer of "The Bachelor" and "The Bachelorette," Fox is bringing a new reality dating show to air "to prove that love comes in all shapes and sizes" (according to Fox's website description). It will be hosted by the famous full-sized model, Emme, and begins airing next month.

So is it empowering or exploitative? I see where they are going, but should you focus on body size to sell a show? I think all bachelor-type shows are ridiculous in the first place, but if they are going to happen, shouldn't it just be people? In theory, if you are ridiculous enough to put yourself on one of these shows, your size should not matter. Then again, if this were true, they would not only put "pretty" people on the original versions of this debacle. Maybe it is a step in the right direction, or maybe it is just even more degrading. I just do not know how I feel about this. We all know Fox tends to take things too far, but really, Fox? Really?

Sidenote: I am still upset that my DVR did not record SYTYCD last night, and you cannot fine full episodes online. Boo. Suze, I feel your pain in missing it.

Tuesdays Are Better in Tampa

Conferences are a staple in the world of Student Affairs. Our profession moves on the ability to collaborate and exchange ideas. So, yesterday, my office (plus one) went to Tampa to attend the NACA Drive-In. held at USF, 75 Florida student activities professionals, along with some of our Greek Life colleagues, gathered for a day of conferencing. And even though the conference was only a day, so much happened...

Since Tampa is about four hours from Tallahassee, our director, Joe, decided we should drive down on Tuesday instead of exhausting ourselves to be there by 8 am. Well, why go a day early and not take advantage of it? So we left campus around 8 am on Tuesday to begin what will always be remembered as "Teambuilding Tuesday." Joe rented a van for us all to ride together. Six adults in a van for four hours...you quickly revert to childhood. Especially when we were able to watch "Spaceballs" while I was able to play "LEGO Star Wars" on my DSi. Yea, that is a little odd to do at the same time...ha. I also remember lots of quoting "The Hangover."

After a slight traffic snag, we made it to Tampa. We started at the Tampa aquarium after grabbing some lunch. The aquarium was awesome. The otters may have been my favorite. Cute little things that could kick your ass...animals after my own heart. I was unfortunately too short to see the penguin show, but luckily they brought one around. One of the coolest things we saw was the leafy sea dragon. It was wild looking. They also had lots of giant fish, and we were able to pet some sea creatures.

The feeding of the otters

The leafy sea dragons

Me and Reg in one of a few crazy pics

After the aquarium, we drove through Ybor, which is a kitchy little place in town. I would love to go back and walk around when all the little shops and bars are open. This also lead to an impromptu tour of Tampa as we tried to find our way to our hotel. However, once we arrived at the hotel, it was amazing. We took a short break and then took advantage of the free happy hour in the lobby. From there, we went to dinner. We found a tapas place called "Ceviche," which had a Tuesday special of $4 tapas selections and $4 sangrias. The food was absolutely delicious. I do not even think I can count the number of different plates we ordered and shared, and the desserts we the perfect ending. After dinner, we took a quick trip to the Hard Rock Casino where some of us were luckier than others.

Just a small sample of the food

Wednesday dawned the conference, which was even better than I thought it would be. I really enjoyed getting to meet others who are going through what I am in my position. (I think I may actually be getting better at this mingling thing...ha.) On top of the networking, I was actually able to take a lot from the sessions. I have lots of ideas for the fall now. We were also able to act like students for a while sampling lots of free novelties put on by a local company. At the end, we were able to tour USF's new union, the Marshal Center. It is out of this world. The modern technology alone is great, but it is also designed with their students in mind. They even have a built in "serenity room" where students can sit in quiet that includes a foot wash room for Muslim students who use the room for prayer. Best part? They have a Moe's in the food court!

On the way home, we were all pretty exhausted. The craziest part was stopping at the Green Shutters restaurant in Williston where we reaffirmed Billy's obsession with shrimp, and Adam and I ordered a watermelon cake. What is that? It is a creation that involves grinding watermelon into the cake batter and the icing. It pretty much tasted like a watermelon Air Head. I do not think I will order it again...as was pointed out, I am not much of a "sweetie."

The watermelon cake

All in all, it was a pretty great!

Quotes:

Joe to me: "I think you have enough tattoos for everyone in the van."
Joe in response to not wanting directions: "I like feeling like Daniel Boone in a minivan."
Side of a church: "Everybody can't be right!"
Regina as we passed nice cars in a not so nice neighborhood: "Speaking of supporting meth habits..."
Adam as Regina is giving him a piggyback ride: "I'm made of bricks."
Me to Billy at Ceviche: "I've got the tapas sweats."
Everyone: "Where's Lori?"

I will probably put up more pictures later on Facebook. ^_^

Half-Way There

Just an update: I have reached the half-way point of the 30 day challenge on my EA Active. Woot! It has actually been lots of fun, despite the days of soreness and a little pain. And, with the exception of Friday and today, I have done well at getting up and doing it in the mornings. (I made them up in the evenings.) I cannot rave and say I have lost a bunch of weight in two weeks or anything, but I am starting to just feel better in general.

My soda and coffee intake has dramatically decreased as well, and my goal to drink lots of water has been pretty good. It helps that Billy D has been joining me in the office with his water bottle as well. I have tried to be more conscious of what I eat, even though Billy and I do eat out for lunch everyday. I am not trying to cut out certain foods, but I am just trying to be more aware of my decisions. Of course, going to the movies killed it a little today. I have a slight obsession with movie popcorn, which is best accompanied by a Coke. ^_^

So here's to the second half of the challenge. I am looking forward to it!

Sidenote: "The Hangover" is absolutely hilarious! I was a little skeptical, but it was great. I highly recommend it for a good summer laugh.

Zac Brown Band Rocks My Face

Okay. We all know, it is no secret, that I am pretty much a Zac Brown Band groupie. So much so that some people in Tallahassee have thought that I am just a country music fan (they clearly do not know me very well). Not that I need to justify my obsession, but I feel like giving a little background as to why I love ZBB so much.

Josh and me with Zac Brown in Orlando

I have to first say thanks to Josh for getting me addicted to the group in the first place. He found out they were playing a late night event put on by Carolina Productions on campus after having seen them downtown at Five Points after 5, and he encourage Alicia and me to go. We were 3 of at most 10 people there. But the band still played an amazing set and we were able to get up close and personal. From that moment I was hooked. Any band that loves playing enough to play for that few people is amazing.

Since then, I have seen them six times. The genre of music is not what draws me to them. I am in love with their passion for music and the meaning in their lyrics. I have to admit, if I had seen their new music videos before I saw them live, I may not be the fan I am now. However, they truly encompass everything a live band should be. Plus, the talent they have on their instruments is amazing! Zac Brown tears up the guitar, Jimmie De Martini kills the violin, John Hopkins plays a mean bass, Coy Bowles shreds the guitar, and Chris Fryar brings it home on the drums. And the way the harmonize can impress anyone.

Zac Brown is also a pretty good cook. He has even been on Paula Deen's show. A true mark of fame...ha. The band is getting their time in the spotlight having won Best New Vocal Group from the Academy of Country Music, and are now up for awards from CMT. Plus, he is giving back to the music community by bringing stardom to amazing acts like Sonia Leigh, Levi Lowery, and Nic Cowan. Two singles on the radio, each with music videos, and another single on they way soon. Seriously, if you have never listened to them, you should. Of course my favorites you will have to search a little harder to find. And I still refuse to lump them into country music.

Sidenote: ZBB also has a roadie that is pretty delicious. I may have stalked him as much as the band since Carolina...

Pride Overshadows Jealousy

Officially ended the contract with our old student organization system. Finally gave an agreement to go with the new one. Had a productive day at work. Made a good homemade dinner. Watched SYTYCD. It was already a pretty good Monday. Then it got a thousand times better. Chris was offered a job! He will be the new Coordinator of Student Organizations at Towson University.

I am SO proud of him! Since day one, Chris has been so amazing. In my first year as a professional, I do not think I could have asked for a better student to work with me. He is truly passionate about students and what they can do together in organizations. While we have always functioned more as co-workers instead of supervisor/GA, now we will truly be colleagues. We will have similar positions, and actually will be working with the same software system. Pretty cool. Towson is pretty lucky to get him, and it is even better that he is excited for it. It was pretty much exactly what he wanted to find.

And the jealousy part? This is the only job to which he applied. Was offered the phone interview. Scored the on-campus. And now has the job. In the world of Student Affairs, we know this is just not right...but I am truly more excited for him. YAY!

Poolside

One of the habits I started to get into since moving to Florida is spending a number of weekends out by the pool. Usually I spend a couple of hours either on Saturday or Sunday and prop myself up by the water. Sometimes I have some friends join me, sometimes I sit by myself. Often I take the time to catch up on whatever I am reading at the moment.

This habit has been a great way to relax. I love just being able to sit outside and not worry about anything else for a little while. Sometimes it can be a good way to sit with my thoughts and process. Of course, it can also be some fun people watching time...ha. The point of it is not so much about getting a good tan (I use good sunscreen to protect my skin and more so my tattoos), but it is more about enjoyment. As long as I am not surrounded by a bunch of crazies, as does happen at a community-type pool, I can really use the time to find a moment of peace. Thanks, Florida Sunshine. ^_^

Sidenote: I've had a pretty good weekend. I was able to hang out with good people and see Abbey, even if it was for a short time. And if you decide to go see "UP," be prepared to be depressed.

And it is Over!

Today is also the last day of the Blog-A-Day-In-May challenge. (Yes, the last day of May is Sunday, but we agreed in the begining that weekends did not have to count.) The criteria and winners are still to be determined. This should get interesting. We are unfortunately 2 challengers down...really Reg, I cry for you. So stay tuned for the results!

And the Search Begins Again

Many people know about my frustrations with my current apartment complex. Also, it is pretty much breaking me. So the solution is, Reg and I are looking for a place to move together. (She also wrote a post about why we can't live together...which really we shouldn't...for a number of reasons...ha.) Searching for a place to live is fun and so not fun at the same time. Of course I hate moving, but I am excited to get into a better place, save some money, and more than likely have a pretty good time.

We looked at a few places today, nothing definite yet, but they were pretty entertaining. In particular, we had one property manager practically want to wine-and-dine us to move in to their complex. She even chased us out the door to say good-bye and then shout "I'll waive your pet fee!" I cannot explain how hilarious this woman was. And the offer is of course tempting.

I just hope we can find a place that is reasonable with all we are looking for so that the next time I move will not be until I am leaving Tallahassee. Most of what we need is space for Dixie and all our furniture. Neither one of us wants to lose our living room pieces, and yea, my entertainment center is pretty ginormous. (Gotta love IKEA!) Plus we definitely need 2 baths.

So keep your fingers crossed that this is an easy search. Have to move out by the end of June...woot.

So I Thought I Could Dance

I spent most of my life growing up dancing. My mom put in me in dance classes when I was about five, and I pretty much did it up through high school. I started to dance competitively after only two years, when generally the rule was you had to wait three. (This may be part of the reason I am such a competitive person in general now...ha.) I loved it. It was seriously all I did, and it was completely worth it. Once my sister was old enough, she started too, and competed shortly thereafter.

We would travel every spring to all sorts of competitions, and we generally did pretty well. My last year, we actually swept nationals with one of our routines. The trophy was taller than I was...haha. (Okay, I realize I am short, but it was a tall trophy!) The end to my dance career was pretty sad, but I think that is a story for another day.

The point of this is I still love and respect dance and dancers. This is part of the reason why I am completely obsessed with the show "So You Think You Can Dance." I love to watch these dancers put their souls on stage, and I have a chance to live a little vicariously through them. Dance is truly a way of life. I love that this show brings dance to a world that may not appreciate it otherwise. Okay, it may be a little sad it has to be through a reality-type show, but it is still pretty awesome.

I love the expression of dance. In all forms, it is an extension of that person and a show of the human form. It is a body in its most raw element out there for the world to take in and digest. Done well, it can move you in ways you would never expect. The body in motion is so beautiful. Like any form of the arts, dance can bring us back to the most rudimentary element of being. Because of that, it is also something that breaks across cultural barriers.

As a dancer, it can express things that you could never express otherwise. Your body feels pulled by forces greater than you. You can just let go and be part of something outside of yourself. It can be exposure of yourself to a world in a way that is so unique. For me, I am a natural introvert (shocking, I know), but dance gave me a chance to show myself in a way that surpassed that.

If you have never watched the show, I would recommend it, even more so once the actual competition starts.

Who Put Me in Charge?

I have hit one of the first major decisions in my career. I am having to decide on canceling a contract with one software company and hiring another. This decision involves thousands of dollars and lots of work for my office (and by my office I mean me and probably my graduate assistant). On the one hand, this is a scary thought for me. It makes me somewhat nervous to know that this decision is in my hands, and the outcome is on me. On the other hand, though, it is somewhat empowering to know I am being trusted to make this decision. (And by decision, I mean we are doing it.)

My official one year mark here in my job is quickly approaching. Because of the situation our office was in when I arrived, I actually took on lots of decisions and responsibilities within a short period of time. I will say I am grateful for the experience so far. Even with the arrival of our new director, we all have been given much autonomy in our positions. We have all been able to change things up, especially now that we have completed the academic year. We can look back, see what worked and what did not, and we are given the ability to make things better.

This is what I am hoping to accomplish with this system change. I spent much of my year dealing with frustrations with the current system (instead of being able to focus on actually helping student groups and their advisors). The new one appears to alleviate that while offering much more and for less cost. Really, making this decision probably is not such a big deal. I think it is just making things more real for me. I am being trusted to act on behalf of the university. Crazy.

Sidenote: What is the difference between really enjoying your job and just being good at what you do?

Extra sidenote: Boo Donut Kingdom on revoking the really cool deal on certificates we had. Boo!

Role Playing

Everyone in our lives is there for a reason. Today, I though about how each person fits a certain need or role in our lives and we fit a role for that person. Multiple people, of course, can be multiple things, and roles can shift as needed. We all fit some emotional or physical need.

In no particular order, think about all the roles we can play and that people play for us:
The person that listens to your rants
The one who always has advice
The person who rants to you
The judgers that judge with you
The hugger who is there at the right time
The person who makes the decisions
The one who will always go out when you need it
The one who will always stay in when you need it
The spontaneous planner
The one you will cry in front of
The funny one who can always make you laugh
The ridiculous one you know you will talk about later

Even if we get frustrated with people, they fill some part. It makes me think about what role I play for others. I know how I see myself and what I think I do, but we are not always aware of everything we do for other people. So many people fill so many places in my life, and I bet they do not always know it. So thank you. Thank you to everyone that is a part of my life. Good or bad, the roles you play make the world go 'round!

Working on Health - Day One

As most people know by now, last week I purchased EA Active for the Wii. Yes, I already had Wii Fit, but honestly, it was not cutting it. Plus, you can only take watching your mii plump up so many times. I have done some of the preset workouts for the past week, and today, I started the 30 day challenge.

So far, this has been a much better purchase. I have woken up at 6 am to do it before work (of course, I wake up a little later on days off), and I actually break a sweat. I can also feel it throughout the day. The 30 day challenge is a set of custom workouts to get you to a healthier you in 30 days. It is actually 20 days worth of workouts because every other day is a rest day. In order for me to keep in the habit, though, I think I am going to use the Wii Fit on rest days since it is much more low impact.

I will also use the Wii Fit to check on my weight, balance, etc once a week. I have to keep myself from doing that everyday, even though it fusses at you if you don't, because this is not so much about losing weight as it is making healthier decisions. Plus, checking yourself everyday like that can get pretty discouraging.

My other goals I have started working on this last week include drinking lots more water, cutting down on caffeine, cutting out sodas and sweet tea (yikes, I know), and just generally trying to eat better. I can't say I am dieting because that just feels like depravity and hardly gets you far. So I just hope to make some better decisions when I eat out and when I cook. I will try to post some updates along the way. Here's to health!

Sidenote: Thoughts go out to all friends and families of fallen soldiers today. We thank them for their dedication and sacrifice. We have nothing but pride. Happy Memorial Day.

Day in the Sun

Today Meredith, Regina, and I decided to blow out of Tallahassee and head to St. George Island to spend the day on the beach. Going anywhere with the three of us is a trip within itself. We started the morning off right with some breakfast at Panera. You know the day is going to be good when you start by people watching. We watched one poor soul stumble out in his hungover glory. We hope his night was worth it.

Then hit the road. In Mer's Jeep with the top back, we rocked out. Along the way we decided to make pit stops in search of some beach toys. Specifically, we were looking for the game we played when we were little. The one where you have two velcro paddles and catch the little velcro balls. Well, after about three stops, we realized we were out of luck. We only found them once and a pirate themed beach shop, but they looked like they had been there since we were little. Also, they were broken. Sad. So we settled for some sand castle molds.

Of course the day was not complete without some classic randomness: Regina's bedazzled butt that she tried to hide, Regina creating an "ass hole" (a hole in the sand for her behind to sit comfortably), Regina loosing her sunglasses in the ocean, a cute guy who was clueless and clearly not as into the girl he was with, sandcastles, and an attempt to build a 4 foot pyramid that ended at 2 feet.

As we left, we grabbed lunch at the Blue Parrot. We had a pretty bad waiter who we found out moved here a few months ago to buy a boat but stayed because he was offered a job as a teacher. Yea, we didn't get it either. Food was delicious, though, and then we headed home. Meredith and I got some sun, to say the least, and Regina had a "hair explosion," but it was lots of fun.

It can be great to get out of town, even just for a day. We can so easily get caught up that we let ourselves not truly enjoy the time off that we have. Luckily, I have some pretty awesome friends around here to help get me up and out, even though I was the one who had to make the actual decision last night...ha. Can't wait to go back next weekend! -_^

Me and Mer

Reg and Me

Reg's sandcastle

My sandcastle

Sidenote: I'm off to play Guitar Hero Metallica!!

Let it Be

I often have trouble letting things go. Not in the sense that I hold a grudge for something, but more so that I hold on to things, or more specifically people. This is how I have kept some pretty wonderful people in my life, even when others may think I am crazy for doing so. Yet, sometimes I wonder if there comes a point when I really should let it go. Is there a point where trying to hold on just becomes toxic?

I function under the principle that relationships should not be so complicated. You are who you are, people are who they are, and that is it. Be open, communicate, and do not give into the games we see people play on popular television. A pretty simple mantra, right? However, I think too few people see it that way. I have even found that some people are so blindsided by preconceived notions that relationships have to be complicated that they seem to not even believe me when I am straightforward. Nonetheless, I keep them in my life, and I wonder if I should.

Then there are people I have not let go despite the general emotional turbulence they can cause me without even knowing it. Some are the same ones who do not understand how to communicate, but some are not. Despite my belief that we should be straightforward, I also have a tendency to internalize. Somethings I tend to deal with without really talking to anyone about it. Whether that is good or bad is up for debate, but I sometimes wonder if I have to struggle, is it worth it?

So why do I hold on then? Because I still believe in the power of people in our lives. Every trial adds to who we are and how we see things in the world. I am certainly not saying that anyone should hold on to someone or something that truly disturbs his/her life. (An emotional ride to find yourself and others is different from physical or mental abuse.) However, I have a hard time imagining mine without these people in it. I am who I am because of these people. Perhaps I am not really answering my original question as much as putting out some thoughts.

Sidenote: The parking lot gods are clearly against me this week. To add to my previous post, I had someone park behind me today in a lot in a non existent space in a lot that is already awkward to begin with. Luckily I was able to get out another direction, but really people?

Pop Culture Past

I went to see Terminator: Salvation today (amazing!!), and it made me think about those defining pop culture moments in our personal histories. I loved the Terminator series growing up; they were a major part of it. Pop culture can have such an impact on our lives and our memories. We can connect to things that shape our memories. One example is how much of a role I think the Terminator series played in my relationship with my dad.

Seriously, think about it. Just yesterday I was having a conversation about old Nickelodeon shows I watched growing up. Admit it, you watched SNICK too with "Are You Afraid of the Dark" and "All That" and so on. Even Adam has brought over dvds of "Pete and Pete" to my apartment recently. These shows connect us to other people through our memories of watching them. I can remember sitting with my sister on a Saturday night watching these shows. These conversations have even extended into what kinds of lunch boxes we had growing up. "Jem and the Holograms" anyone?

Of course it is not all television shows and movies, they just happen to be the topic at hand. For example, collecting all the California Raisins. These things can make for great conversation because they bring up so many memories. Like it or not, pop culture plays a major role in our lives. I find it interesting to think back on it all. Maybe I will have more to say about it later. My brain is not writing too well tonight for some reason.

And, really, go see Terminator.

Parking Lot Pet Peeves

Here comes another rant. Nothing complicated today, just venting.

When I left work today, I walked to the parking lot to find a giant rusty truck parked next to my Jeep. Normally, this is no big deal, as everyone knows my Jeep is special looking itself. However, this truck decided to park extremely close to the driver's side of my Jeep. And by close I mean there was no way I was possibly going to be able to get inside. It was amazing he did not take off my sideview mirror. Literally, there may have been an inch between my mirror and the truck.

So I stared at it for a moment, contemplating my options: become super skinny and slink in the door, be spiteful and beat the truck to hell with my door, or climb in the passenger side and crawl over to my seat. Unfortunately sense took over and a climbed in the passenger side. It was dicey to even pull out of the parking spot without scraping the truck. Really??

I understand we get in a hurry, but seriously people, common sense is a virtue. Why are people so rude? And some days it just seems worse in a parking lot. People park too closely, park too crooked in the space, etc. But it can be even more than that: Look before you back out. If you are walking across the lot, think about the fact that between you and my Jeep, my Jeep will win. Do not act like you do not see a giant black mass rolling toward you. (Really, I may run over a student one day.) If you have a small car, and you know who you are, park so people can see you and not think there is a spot. If backing into a space is clearly more complicated than parking, or clearly more complicated than you can handle in the first place, do not do it. If you pull through a space to leave, pay attention.

And one of my biggest aggravations: do NOT leave your shopping cart in a parking space, or in the lot at all. They put those little cart corral things there for a reason. It will not kill you nor take that much of your precious time to walk the cart to one or even back to at least the storefront. Even in a median is better than nothing. I am pretty sure that most people who do it would be the first to be upset that their car was dented by a rouge cart. I do not even care about that (seriously, if you know my Jeep...it is special...). Just stop being so lazy!

Okay. I am done. Thanks.

I Can't Say I'm a Gamer...But...

So I have never considered myself much of a gamer, and I still do not really. However, in recent years, my gaming status has seen a major increase. I mean, when I was little, I had the original NES with Duck Hunt and Punch Out. We even had the little robot man. I had the very first GameBoy, the one that was the size of a brick. The we had a Sega, with Sonic and Mortal Kombat, and then a Super Nintendo. Then we had the first PlayStation, on which I mostly played Crash Bandicoot.

But that was it. Until the Wii. And the Nintendo DS (well, now the DSi). Now I find myself playing much more often and finding myself much more invested. My sister was always the one who kept up in the gaming world. She had the new consoles and told me about the crazy games she was playing. I should somewhat blame this new addiction on her and Mick anyway since they cleverly hid a DS for me at his GameStop and helped me stalk a Wii in the first place...

So now I find myself with a membership card to GameStop, which comes with a free magazine subscription keeping me up to date on the gamer world. Plus, now I have Regina in my life to go game shopping with me. I still pretty much stick to the basics, Lego Star Wars, MarioKart, Mortal Kombat, Super Mario, Dance Dance Revolution, Guitar Hero, etc. I have never been one to play a lot of first person shooters or RPGs. Too long and complicated.

Now I have to admit that this post was brought on by the fact that I just picked up my reserved copy of EA Active. This comes close on the heels of hunting down Mortal Kombat for Wii this past weekend and getting the new DSi a few weeks ago. Yea...maybe I am working on being a gammer...(maybe I'll let you know how the new game is later...I'm off to play).

Verse by Verse

As I have said before, part of the joy of long drives is getting to listen to music, and of course sing at the top of your lungs. I may be something of a music junkie, too. But while driving back to Tallahassee today I started thinking about how much music can be part of our lives. Each note and each word can have a different effect on different people. They can even change in meaning depending on your mood or where you are in life. Whatever the effect, music can be pretty powerful. These artists pour themselves into each piece, and we have the pleasure of incorporating them into our lives.

So, below are some verses from a few of the songs that made my trip: (how many do you know? -_^)

~You make me want to smoke a cigarette / You make me want to be someone else

~You don't know the story / You don't know what happened / You don't know me like you thought you did or you'd be laughing

~Picked all my weeds / But kept the flowers

~I'm not sick / I am lovely / Hatred is the curse of man

~There is this hunger / This restlessness inside of me / And it knows that you're no stranger / You're my gravity

~But the other side of the mattress and boxspring stayed like new / And what’s the point of holding on to what never gets used / Other than a sick desire for self abuse

~He said, "It's all in your head" / And I said, "So's everything'" but he didn't get it / I thought he was a man but he was just a little boy

~It makes no sense no / I know it's pointless / But I feel alive right now / And I've been needing this forbidden kiss

~The hair is from a little boy / And the cross is someone she has not met / Not yet

~Mr. Darkness it's been awhile since I've seen you / You just come around right when my hurting seems through / Everyone gets someone and darkness I got you

~They live just like the paint-by-numbers / The teacher would be impressed / A lifetime of follow the lines / So it's just like all the rest

~I used to believe that wishes come true / But it's hard to believe you count as a wish / Do you

~Just bend the pieces til they fit / Like they were made for it / But they weren't meant for this

~Is it right to want to run / I'm walking backwards at the wrong of a gun

~We all have something that digs at us / At least we dig each other

~Stepping though my shadow / Coming out the other side / Step into the shadow / 46 & 2 are just ahead of me

~The water’s warm and children swim / And we frolicked about in our summer skin

~I don't need to be fixed / And I certainly don't need to be found / I'm not lost / I just need to be loved

~I've got the scars to prove that love has had its day and its way with me / So can we roll tonight / Roll though your desert / Can we start over

I could really keep going, but I guess I will stop. I also listened to a few hours of blues. That is always good for the soul. Where would the world be without music?

I also have to say that my trip home was too short, but I am glad I got to see those I did. I was also able to make a pit stop in Columbia to have lunch and catch up with some people there. Funny how you can miss places you tried so hard to leave.

Sidenote: I brought back Cherry-Lemon Sundrop and Cheerwine...yes!

Bootsie, Follow the PoPo

Going out in Charlotte with Ashanti and my sister would of course be nothing short of interesting.

We went to this thing called PlayDate Charlotte. This is an event that happens in a number of major cities about once a month. Essentially it is a bunch of adults drinking cocktails and playing games of our youth. Sounds fun, right? Well a lot of people definitely thought so. It was much more crowded than we expected, but it was lots of fun.

Before you go in, you have to create a nickname for the night. So, meet Bootsie, Tallasassy, and Lucky Charms/Cheeks (Ashanti had to change her name later in the night due to an unfortunate woman sharing the Lucky Charms one.)

So what did we do for the night? We played Hungry, Hungry Hippos, Chutes and Ladders, and Monopoly (for 15 minutes until we decided we did not have the patience). We watched other people play Red Light, Green Light, a giant game of Jenga, and something they called Merry-Go-Round. This last game involved people standing in a circle, and they had to sing the lyrics to whatever song the DJ played. If they messed up, they were out. This took a little too long for us. We really just wanted to hula-hoop, but we never were able to...sad.

We then when back to another table to play cards. This, of course, turned into a game of spades. My twin and me played against some guy and girl, and killed them. Anyone who knows me, or has played spades with me, knows I take the game pretty seriously. You would all be happy to know I did not curse once, and was on my best behavior.

Once we were done playing, it was time to go. Leaving Charlotte always creates a debacle, especially when Bootsie and Cheeks are trying to give me directions. After driving around in circles a bit, we finally found our way out and back to the interstate. This involved us actually following a police car, even thought we really did not know if he was going where we were. Oh well, it worked.

And, oh, I forgot to mention my sister and I were two of maybe five white people in the room. Ha. Like that has ever stopped us, right? Plus, for some reason, this is becoming more common every time I go out with Ashanti. When did that happen? Funny part is, these two white girls could have lasted longer than some of the people playing the Merry-Go-Round game. That's right, I know the theme to The Jeffersons. (PS...the only white male we saw there had the nickname of Mayonnaise...really, Michael Vick, really?)

So we had lots of fun, of course, and I am glad I was able to spend time with my twin before she leaves for South Africa. I was also glad to finally take out my sister now that she is officially an adult (scary, I know). Can't wait until we can do it again girls!

Sidenote: I FINALLY beat Elite Beat Agents today. No more levels. It is finally done. Thank god. Ha.

They Have Nothing Better to Do

Those of you who know me well know I am a judger. Shocking, I know. And it is not always judging as much as I just really enjoy watching people. Okay, sometimes it is just judging. Rock Hill never lacks in people to watch. One incident I did not mention in yesterdays post involved standing in line at Taco Bell. This particular Taco Bell is in the middle of the Manchester area of town, which is where all the newer shops, movie theater, etc. are, and is also where all then crazy little teens hang out. And by hang out, I mean run a muck in the parking lot.

So while in line at Taco Bell, we saw a group of teens walk in the door. These cute little hopeless emo-ish kids in their black eyeliner, rubber bracelets, and band tees. Now, I will not judge that (see previous post about my hair color...I have no room.) However, I will immediately begin to judge you when you turn around and have holes cut not only all down the legs of your jeans, but also in the ass of your jeans. This of course is not even a good look on a cute girl, but this was not even a cute girl. Seriously, I was embarrassed for her. Sad.

On a brighter note, I was able to spend time with some really good friends last night hanging out and watching some stand up comedy. Today I spent some quality time with my mom running errands. Then went to my grandparents for an impromptu cookout. It was great to see my dad and the rest of that side of my family. I also was able to see my stepbrother's son for the first time since he was born. He is seven weeks old, and of course cute as can be. As my family has always said, "We don't do ugly." (Hey, don't judge. It's true. Ha.)

Now I am off to Charlotte to spend time with my twin and my sister. Should be lots of fun, and I am sure much more judging to come.

Oh the Things I've Left

On my first full day home this trip I did not do much except look around town. I took my Jeep for some maintenance at my stepdad's shop first. Luckily, the shop is next door to a Starbucks. So I ordered my typical grande peppermint white mocha and sat outside with the book I am currently reading (Son of a Witch). While I was there, I had the joy of people watching. Granted, it was not nearly as fun as what occurs when I am around Regina, but I enjoyed watching a group of women who were in town for their own Winthrop reunion make fools of themselves.

After the car work, I drove around town for a bit only to find more things to make fun of in Rock Hill. Apparently the city has decided it is important enough for fancy signs that give directions to places like the "Cherry Road Corridor" and the "Dave Lyle Corridor." Now, these are two major roads in the city, but I am pretty sure that a town should be much more major than this one to warrant calling anything a corridor. Really?

I also decided to visit the Rock Hill Galleria Mall. I should preface this for those of you who have not familiar with Rock Hill with the statement that it has never been much of a shopping destination. I mean, the highlight of the mall has always been that the Wal-Mart is attached. However, at one point someone had purchased it and posted grand plans of making it more like a real mall. Well clearly that did not happen. The mall has unfathomably become more desolate than before. Sad. Really. So I went to the Pineville mall instead. Just like old times.

At least the highlight of the day was visiting my sister at work at Earth Fare. Potentially one of the best health food stores ever and clearly one of the best parts of this town now. (And apparently it may be coming to Florida...sweet.) Maybe I should not give everyone the impression that Rock Hill is a terrible town, but it certainly is not hoppin. The good thing about being home is spending time with the family and getting to see some pretty awesome friends.

Sidenote: I finally bought Mortal Kombat Armageddon for Wii. I am pretty excited.

On the Road

My drive from Tallahassee to Rock Hill takes about seven and a half hours. Many people hate driving that long alone, but I have to say I kind of enjoy it. It is a long stretch of time that I am completely to myself. Of course, it includes lots of me belting out various songs within the confines of my Jeep, but I really enjoy the time it gives me. (This will not be a Billy D kind of list, just more of a reflection piece. ^_^)

I have made these lengthy drives a number of times now, and I have realized that I most often find solace in them. The time alone in the car allows for quality time alone with your own thoughts, or time to just not think at all. Sometimes I enjoy the fact that I just get so wrapped up in the scenery (I use this term loosely as today's drive did involve I-10 and I-95) and my music that I do not worry about the things that I may worry about otherwise. I can completely separate myself from work and sometimes even my personal life long enough to just be. And that can be pretty cathartic.

Other times I find myself have the chance to work through some things on my own. Occasionally these drives occur at the opportune time just when I need the chance to be alone and sort through some things. I have even found times when the drive allowed some creative thinking leading to a few poems and other creative thoughts. (For those of you who may not know, I do write poetry on occasion.) Today's drive even gave me time to think of some future blog topics I may explore, things I think may be good for me to explore using this medium.

So it is late, and this has been a long day. I am not sure right now if any of this is even coherent. I guess my point is we should all find that time to be alone. Maybe the ideal place is not in the car for everyone, but it can be good to find something. I tend to use my afternoons at the pool for the same thing. I just enjoy being in that moment where I do not have to worry about anything unless I choose to do so. Although I do have to throw in here that it can be fun to make these trips with other people (like my trip with Meredith to Columbia and our fun finds).

Of course I also enjoy driving distances because that means it is time for some Arby's!

And yes, this post is just barely making it in the deadline of the day, but hey, it did.

Sidenote: I cannot believe I just watched the season finale of LOST last night. Not only does this mean a long time until next season and the potential of lots of answers, but it also means next season is the last. Wow.

My Twin

Part of the reason I am going home to visit this weekend is because of my twin, Ashanti. The rock star that she is, she is completing her law degree at Michigan, and is actually interning in South Africa in the fall. She is in SC for the month of May to visit home before she leaves. Hence, I have to track her down before she leaves the country.

Ashanti is more than deserving of her own blog post for a number of reasons, not the least of which is that she has known me since 6th grade. I am pretty sure that no one should be friends that long, especially not us. However, we still are, even though we are living pretty far apart at the moment. We are twins because we share a birthday (and here she would scream that I am older by 3 hours...there, I beat you to it). We also happened to grow up in the same neighborhood.

However, we like to say we are twins more for the reaction than the reality of it. It got us some pretty good stares when we announced it at places like her first step show as a Sigma Gamma Rho. Of course, we are no strangers to odd stares when we are together. We just learned to embrace it, and occasionally go out of our ways to invoke them...ha. Ashanti also knows more about me than anyone ever, ever should. Want an embarrassing story? Just ask her. I know she would be happy to give it to you, although not without knowing I have one to return just as quickly.

Despite her enthusiasm to call me out, I love my twin. She is someone I can go months without talking to (although we are getting better about that) and still pick up the phone picking up right where we left off. We always swore we would get out of SC (well, more specifically Rock Hill), and we did. And, she is pretty much amazing! We always have a good time together, and who knows where we will end up next. (Philly or DC, right?) Crazy schemes in middle school, being nerds in high school, ridiculous nights out in Columbia, having whole conversations without words, long phone calls catching up...oh the times we have had...13 years is a long time, 'Shanti! Here's to 13 more!

And seriously...why do I not have any pictures of us??

Sidenote: I realized today that someone saying something nice about what you have done means so much more than getting an award for it. ^_^