Twenty-six

One more year older, and I do not think I have much to say about it. Birthdays tend to make you think over the year behind and the year ahead. However, I think I have done that a lot lately anyway. Aside from the fact that birthdays just are not a crazy deal anyway. Having been born three days after Christmas, making a big deal about your birthday can be difficult. Despite my mother's best efforts growing up, the holidays seem to take over.

This is not to say I am in anyway shafted or jaded. Just realistic. And I have come to enjoy times like last night where I spend the better part of the day with my family. Friends tend to say we will celebrate early or late, but I do not always hold my breath for that since we often have to dive head first into other obligations. Again, that is okay with me.

Facebook has actually added an interesting level to birthdays. To hear from those I know I would not otherwise...it's nice I suppose. Some, like my students, mean well because that is how they communicate. Some are people I have just not had contact with and the message is a nice reminder to catch up with them. Others, like closer friends, feel like they should and it just supplements phone calls and texts that I love. Yet, a few, are those that you wonder why you friended in the first place because you wonder at what point were you actually friends? But thank you, Facebook, for reminding everyone on their homepage that it is my birthday.

No, really, thanks, because I know (and many of my friends know) I am not that great at remembering these things myself. So I appreciate the little nudge myself.

Of course it is almost the new year as well, which also causes us to be reflective. But I think I will save that for later. For now, I will go back to what I always say: everything happens for a reason. I have much to look forward to as a twenty-six-year-old. Thank you to everyone for the well wishes and to those who have really been around lately. I could not survive without you!

I'm Waitin on the Couch, but I Don't Know What I'm Waitin For

I think, perhaps, on occasion, I think too much about others and not enough about myself. And I think, because of this, maybe I do not know how to really think about myself. I do not mean this in a "look at me I'm so altruistic" kind of way. I mean this more that I think much of my internal dissonance comes from a lack of being able to know what it is I am really looking to find.

Introspection is something I consider a strong suit. I tend to find an understanding of my feelings, the different sides of things, deeper meanings (and then talk about it in a blog...ha). But somewhere outside of that, I get too wrapped up in other people. I have a general idea of what I want in life, at least I think, and I try to surround myself with people who are heading that same direction. I hope to find others who add something to my life and who I am.

However, I wonder if those relationships become so important to me that I let them overcome me. Most of the time, this is not a bad thing, do not get me wrong. Relationships are very important to me not only in my personal life but professionally as well. Most of the theory I let drive what I do is relationship centered. I can trace my life by the relationships in it. But at what point do I stop and really think about what I am looking for? Right now, I am not really sure.

I think most of the time it is okay to not know. Just occasionally, I find myself wondering. But I digress.

The title of this post is a lyric from "Frozen Bed" by Sonia Leigh. She rocks.

An Introvert on the Road

Yes, I am a high introvert. Shocking. I know. But because of this, I tend to really enjoy driving. I think I have mentioned this in previous posts, but long trips in the car alone give me time to think...or not think at all. So yesterday I had plenty of time while I made the drive home for the holidays. I actually even had some extra time since the weather was consistently pretty gross with the same gray rain across all three states.

My thoughts on yesterday's trip tended to wrap around three general themes. The first was improvements. More specifically, improvements I need to make to my Jeep. My Jeep has lots of "character," as most would call it, when they are trying to be nice. Others would simply say it looks pretty rough. It drives really well to be 15 years old. It just needs a make-over. The paint is pretty bad and the headliner has fallen. A new door handle is needed on one door and a new armrest is needed on another. I guess having never put much stock into defining my status through having a cool looking car, I never worried too much about it. However, it would definitely do some good to spruce it up. Now it is finding the places and the money to get it done.

The second theme was obviously the holidays. I did not come home for Thanksgiving, and so I am looking to make up for that while I am home for Christmas. I thought about things I would cook (I think I will be making peanut butter fudge to take to my grandmother's), people I will visit (family, friends, a trip to Columbia), and just what I will do with almost two weeks at home. Of course we started the tradition off last night by going to my mom's company annual Christmas party. We always go as a whole family and have fun playing silly games, leaving with silly gifts, and eating lots of food. Although this year, the most I think I left with was being judged by an elderly Taiwanese man about being single. Oh, and playing with fish eyeballs. Ha.

The third was just life in general. Reflecting over the last year. Thinking about some possible big changes on the horizon. Without putting too much out over the Internet, I have just had lots to think about lately, and the drive is usually a good place to either sort them out, reflect, or sometimes agonize over them. Decisions to make, things I should say to others that I don't, possibilities, how things could have happened, etc. And then I think, I should blog!

Also to note, this was the first time I have taken my cat, Dixie, on an extended car ride. She has never been to keen on being in the car, although it has only ever been to go to and from the vet and home from the shelter. So who can blame her? But yesterday she made the trip with me and did really well. She freaked for a little while, but found a spot that suited her underneath the back seats that I had laid down. Occasionally she would pop up for some attention, but I think she like it under there where she was warm and could not see the world flying by. The only downside was I could not belt out the tunes I normally do while I am on the road because she would start to meow, which I took to mean stop. Perhaps that is why I had even more time to think. I could not drown it out with music as much as I normally do.

I hope to have more to write while I am home and have more time to do it. Also, shoutout and thanks to Adam for the road trip mix. It made for good listening.

You Can't Always Get What You Want

I find the way life can drop something right in front of you sometimes funny. If we are lucky, we realize what is staring us in the face and take advantage of it. However, we often realize just the moment too late. Or perhaps we think we see the opportunity, but it was not the one we thought it was. Or, you know, maybe sometimes it can be all three. Just a random thought for the night. Discuss.

Women's Leadership Institute Day 4

This morning the institute came to an end. We wrapped up with a keynote speaker, Frances Lucas, President of Millsaps College. Her session's title: "The Power of Pearls and Perfume." The title should have given it away. She was witty and completely engaging. She spoke mostly about what is has meant, does mean, and will mean to be a woman in leadership. It was a perfect way to wrap up the experience. She gave numerous personal examples of her journey as a woman leader, and spent a good amount of time humoring our questions as well. One of the best take aways? Her "Ten Commandments for Successful Leadership:"

1. Thou shall first ask questions and listen.
2. Thou shall know what thou are going to say before thou open thou mouth.
3. Thou shall make clear thou intent and purpose.
4. Thou shall test messages on a few before many.
5. Thou shall give attention and not seek attention.
6. Thou shall maximize rewards and minimize whips.
7. Thou shall find humor wherever you can.
8. Thou shall offer optimism and hope
9. Thou shall be encouraging.
10. Thou shall forgive...repeatedly.

She had a number of amazing nuggets of wisdom. My other favorite was her three questions you should ask yourself to find your path: What are your gifts? What to you love? What needs to be done? As a Venn diagram, the intersection of the three is where you will find where to go. I also found some comfort when she said that the majority of university and college presidents are actually introverts. :-)

After the speaker, we had a brunch as we all prepared to depart. I found it amazing to be around these women with whom I know have an amazing connection. I even was able to share some of my young wisdom by talking to a few of them about blogging...ha. Just knowing what I have been able to get out of this experience, I can only imagine what it has meant on the grander level of everyone there. On my three hour drive back to the "real world," I was able to think about the handful of people I truly got to know and the pearls of wisdom I was able to take with me.

Women can be amazing, and they can be even more so when they empower each other. I knew that coming out of an all-women's undergraduate education, but I was happily reminded of it over the past four days. However, it is not about women doing it alone. It is that we all have something to bring to the table. We just need to know what that is and how to better each other through it. Success takes everyone of all genders, backgrounds, races, and so on to make the world go 'round. Maybe it sounds cliche, but a friendly reminder never hurts.

In case any of them find this entry down the road, THANK YOU! And special shout outs to the one who listened so well to my issues while she shared hers, the one who truly wanted to learn more about technology and thought she could learn it from me, the one who made for amazing conversation on the shuttle back from dinner, the one who is thinking of her son who is currently one of many that are being rushed deployed from Camp Lejune, and to all who took a minute to say hello, smile, chat, and were just all around awesome.

Women's Leadership Institute Day 3

Yea, I did not make it to the early morning activities again today, but I will say that it is okay. :-)

My first session today was about navigating tough conversations. I figure as someone who like to generally avoid conflict, this would be a good skill to learn. The presenter based her information mostly off of a book about "fierce" conversations. Overall, the session was interesting. She provided road maps and ways to plan conversations before you have them. My only critique would be many of the tips would work much better in a structured business world more so than higher education. Nonetheless, I took away something.

The second session was presented by the executive director of ACUI (Association of College Unions International), who is a hoot! Her presentation was on men and women at work. Really, it ended up being more about understanding how to communicate and listen. She kept calling it the "fluff" session of the institute, but I enjoyed it because it was the most interaction I got out of a session. Nothing she presented about men and women was anything new or shocking, but she did it in a way that put somethings in a new light.

Today's closing plenary session was all about the economy and not only what it means for higher education, but what we can do about it. I was not really sure what to expect with this one since I consider myself just in the beginning of being an "adult" and even knowing about this topic. However, it was an interesting conversation. The idea is that we take this as an opportunity instead of keeping our heads down and waiting for this all to pass. Also, we have to realize that once we return to normal, it will be a new normal, and we have to think about what that will mean.

Tomorrow is the last day, and it really will only be a closing keynote. My goal then is to reflect back on this experience as a whole, when I am not so sleepy, and really think about what I am taking away from this experience. Today I have to say I have appreciated how diverse these women are in background and current position. This institute is currently sponsored by eight different professional associations, meaning this is not just Student Affairs. Pretty neat.

Sidenote: Spas, aromatherapy, and hour long massages are wonderful inventions!

Women's Leadership Institute Day 2

Today was the beginning of our educational sessions. I skipped out on the early morning activities (walking on the beach or journaling) because the bed seemed much nicer. But I was down for breakfast and ready to go for the day when I needed to be.

The first session I went to was about how to be "hip and sage" and how to network. I went knowing that I am not always the best about getting out there but knowing the value of networking. The presenter was pretty amazing, and it was a great way to start my day. Much of the session about now to navigate not only face-to-face networking but also networking through social media. Although this part was interesting because I definitely could feel how young I was when the conversation included points on meeting the younger generations where they are technologically, and all I could think was...yea...that would include me. Nevertheless, she had me very excited because she was so excited about the possibilities social media brings. All in all I took much from this session. You have to know what you bring to the table to get something out of a networking opportunity. It's not what you know and who you know, but who knows you.

My second session has about the life-work balance. I figured I need to start good habits now, right? I do not think I can say I took as much away from this session, but it was still valuable. Most of it was nothing revolutionary, but it was good to think about how we personally see balance, what that means, how that changes, and what we can do to get it. Most importantly, we worked on how to say "no," something a number of us have trouble doing.

The last session of the day was a plenary session where we all learned more about StrengthsQuest, which we all took prior to coming. Mine? Empathy, achiever, adaptability, learner, and intellection. I was not sure I would be that excited about this since I recently did it with the Student Activities staff at our retreat. However, we had a presenter from Gallup, the company that hosts StrengthsQuest, and she was very engaging. If you have never done it, I highly recommend it.

We also ate lots of food today, and I have really enjoyed the built in time to get to know the other participants. I mentioned before that I was likely the youngest person here, and that has certainly been proven today. I think that made me nervous because I was afraid I would not be able to contribute anything, but I have found it empowering to get to know a number of these women. Despite the lack of experience, I still have been able to gain much in the last day and a half. I cannot wait until tomorrow!

Sidenote: There is nothing like the sound of the ocean.

Women's Leadership Institute Day 1

I have to be extremely grateful for the support of professional development at Florida State. Because of that and the support of our Union Director, I am currently sitting at the 4th annual Women's Leadership Institute, sponsored by ACUI and seven other associations. It is being held at Amelia Island, FL at the Ritz-Carlton Resort. (Yea...the Ritz...the one and only time I will probably ever be here...ha.)

Today was the opening of the institute. We had a nice reception and an opening speaker, Katty Kay who co-authored the book Womenomics. A study in how women are changing the workforce. I have to say I was pleasantly surprised to hear some revolutionary thoughts and some encouraging statistics. Turns out, women actually make business not only run better but become more profitable. "Pink Profits." Go figure, right? It is also about re-framing how we see our careers. Knowing what we want, not being afraid to ask, and learning to say no when needed. Hearing what she and her co-author found in their research was enlightening. Oh, and she gave all of us a signed copy of the book. Sweet.

I must admit the major introvert in me was initially overwhelmed, and I still sort of am. We have 95 women attending this institute, and I do not know any of them. I had to make myself get out and meet people at the reception, which for anyone who knows me knows that is not the easiest thing for me to do. I am also one of the youngest, if not the youngest, person here. Although I think that is going to make me get much more out of this. The women here are from all across the board in background and current positions. I think I will find it extremely interesting to hear from them over the next couple of days, and I hope this will help me grow in the networking aspects of my career.

My goal is to blog each night in order to help me process. I was inspired by the fact that the planners of this incorporated "wellness time" into our schedules to make sure we are doing things for ourselves while we are here. I hope to have much to report. :-)