I think, perhaps, on occasion, I think too much about others and not enough about myself. And I think, because of this, maybe I do not know how to really think about myself. I do not mean this in a "look at me I'm so altruistic" kind of way. I mean this more that I think much of my internal dissonance comes from a lack of being able to know what it is I am really looking to find.
Introspection is something I consider a strong suit. I tend to find an understanding of my feelings, the different sides of things, deeper meanings (and then talk about it in a blog...ha). But somewhere outside of that, I get too wrapped up in other people. I have a general idea of what I want in life, at least I think, and I try to surround myself with people who are heading that same direction. I hope to find others who add something to my life and who I am.
However, I wonder if those relationships become so important to me that I let them overcome me. Most of the time, this is not a bad thing, do not get me wrong. Relationships are very important to me not only in my personal life but professionally as well. Most of the theory I let drive what I do is relationship centered. I can trace my life by the relationships in it. But at what point do I stop and really think about what I am looking for? Right now, I am not really sure.
I think most of the time it is okay to not know. Just occasionally, I find myself wondering. But I digress.
The title of this post is a lyric from "Frozen Bed" by Sonia Leigh. She rocks.
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