We Wake Up Together Alone

I find it interesting that we as human beings struggle to find deep connections with others. We put forth effort to find relationships to enhance our lives. If we are lucky enough, we find a handful of people that truly fit the role (or at least we think so). Family, friends, "significant others." What sucks is when those same relationships end up being the ones that hurt us most.

For this scenario, imagine boy meets girl. They get along, everything seems right. Then, maybe one of them falters, maybe not, but something happens that the relationship as it was ends. Both of them seem to try to hold on to something that still fills a part of their lives. Maybe one is holding on more than the other. Sometimes holding on works, but when it doesn't, it really doesn't. If they are lucky enough, they move forward with a different take on the relationship. If not, one or the other or both are left with something that just hurts.

I think I have written before about learning to try and let go of things that maybe we should not hold on to. But how do we figure that out? What part of us tries to hold on so hard that we just force ourselves into a worse place? When does holding on become toxic?

I have always been the one to want to make things right for people, and seeing this struggle is difficult. This is partially because I can both empathize and sympathize I suppose. A side but related note is this past weekend I learned that empathy was my number one strength in StrengthsQuest. It made me laugh how much that was true. But because of this, maybe I struggle more with the issue at hand. Maybe I will have more thoughts later...

Disclaimer: This post is not just about one person but more a combination of observations and experiences. Just a chance to get out some thoughts on the subject. ^_^

Wedding #2 and a Visit Home

Two weddings in two weeks can be a little overwhelming, but as I am about to head back to Tallahassee, I am sitting here thinking over these past couple of days glad that I have had the chance to do this. It has been a few days of remembering some pretty awesome times.

As soon as I made it to town on Thursday, I went for a "Girls' Afternoon" with my mom, sister, stepsister, and cousin. We went to see the tearjerker "My Sister's Keeper," and then went out for some Cuban food. (Yea, I left Florida to eat Cuban food...oh the irony...ha.) This is something we so rarely get to do that it was so nice to spend some time with these awesome women. Moving away from home has definitely made me cherish these little moments a little more. I hope this is something we will get to do again soon...minus the depressing movie of course.

Yesterday was my friend Ronnie's wedding. For the first time in a very long time, I was able to be with friends who made Rock Hill memorable. It was crazy to think back on times that seem so long ago but seem like just yesterday. Beach trips, giggle fests, just hanging out. Interesting to think about how far we have all come. At times, it was like nothing had ever changed. Congratulations to Ronnie and Jessica, and thank you for a chance to bring us all back together.

Today, I went over to my Nanny's (a.k.a. Granny Bill) for dinner. While sitting around the dinner table enjoying Saturday Night Soup (a family favorite), my two cousins, my sister, and I spent the better part of the evening remembering the crazy things the four of us used to do together when we were younger. Making up dance routines to "Rhythm Nation," roller skating routines, tricycle competitions, games of spoons, and singing Wilson Phillips...at least these were the appropriate memories to talk about at the dinner table. Then came the obligatory stories of me refusing to play softball, my infamous first word, and my sister's obsession with butter. And of course I always treasure getting to spend time with Nanny and Paw Paw because you will never meet two better people. We were also reminded that we definitely get our brutal honesty and attitude from Nanny Bill.

Other highlights of the weekend include going to see my sister at work at Earth Fare, learning about new cheeses and getting to buy Fat Tire for the first time in SC. I was able to get some needed work done on my Jeep and run some errands. Today I was able to chill and have homemade breakfast. Oh, and watch another sad movie, "The Boy in the Striped Pajamas." Seriously, my mom is on probation from choosing movies for a while.

I enjoyed my time home, but it's back to Tally in the morning. So much waiting for me in preparation for that fall semester...really, who made summer so short?

Sidenote: Poison sumac is not fun. How is this what I get for doing volunteer work? Ha.

Keeping Up With Old Friends

This past Saturday I was able to attend my friend Liz's wedding. I have been friends with Liz since high school, and we have been through a lot since then, to say the least. From surviving the IB program, to infiltrating pageants, to first (and second) tattoos, to plate parties at the Saucer...we have shared some pretty good moments. So of course I was so excited to get the invitation in the mail to share such important moment with her.

I do have to admit I was a little nervous because I knew I would go without knowing anyone there besides her family, but it turned out to be an intimate affair and I was really able to catch up with them. I also have to give Liz a number of kudos for the event. The ceremony was sweet and to the point. It opened with the sounds of a string quartet that sounded so lovely covering groups like Enya and Nine Inch Nails. (NIN's "Closer" to be specific...sweet.) This was all followed with wine, food and dancing, of course. She was absolutely gorgeous, and it was so great to see her. I only wish her and Chris the best on this new chapter in their lives.

I think I have to consider myself lucky to still have such good friends around. We may not always stay in touch as much as we should, but we have been there for each other. Plus, for once, it was not completely dreadful to sit through a wedding. I can only hope the one I have to go to in two weeks is just as good. -_^

Sidenote: I LOVE Moss Ave for a number of reasons. However, I have added a new one to this list. You have to love a house that you not only still have a key to after over a year of moving out, but that you can also go back to because you are pretty sure you still have stuff there...and you do. Plus, the people who live there now know you have a key and just tell you to show up whenever. Ha. I do not know what I will do when I do not know the people living there any more...

Nole Anniversary

Today was my official one year mark working at FSU. Crazy. Of course, this makes me think back over the past year. I find it hard to believe that a year ago I had just graduated with my master's degree, job searched, and moved alone to a brand new state. Now I have a year of professional experience (whatever that means in the world of Student Affairs...ha) and feel like I have found something of a niche here in Tally.

Professionally, it sets in even more because yesterday was my new grad assistant's first day. Last year I was relying on Chris to teach me about FSU, now here I am teaching Selby. Definitely a new adventure. I also think about all the connections I actually have across campus. Part of that revelation came with organizing my team to implement our new online student organization system. I actually have colleagues and friends on which to call.

Personally, I have some pretty great people to hang out with around here. I went out on a limb not long after starting here and went kayaking with a bunch of people I really did not know, save for one person. (Thanks Julia!) And I find it funny to think about how I have become pretty close with some people because of that. Plus, for various reasons, I have made some other pretty good friends. Of course, some would say I have fallen into one of the new professional traps in that the people I hang out with also all work at FSU. However, it seems to work. Plus, we try (although not always successfully) to not talk work all the time.

So here is to another year. I feel as though I have lots to come.

The More Things Change

Random thought for the day: I love that no matter how much things change in our lives, it seems we can count on some things to stay the same. For example, it can be amazingly easy to fall back into conversations with friends you haven't seen in a while...and back into old habits (read: the ability to judge everyone around you). They say change is the only constant. True. But I am glad to know that I can count on some people to be constant as well.

Sidenote: Thanks to Mer for a long weekend of crazy adventures. Truly, no one should go on a road trip with us...